


Mr. Goodbar for Good Times

by Inkfowl



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Candy, Cuddling, GobblepotHalloween2020, M/M, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkfowl/pseuds/Inkfowl
Summary: After a night of taking Martin trick-or-treating, Oswald invites Jim to stay for a drink and some sweets.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22
Collections: Gobblepot Halloween 2020





	Mr. Goodbar for Good Times

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a frenzy, I have no idea how it got here.

It was a quiet Halloween night at the Van Dahl mansion, but that ended shortly when the doors were flung open and a young Martin zoomed into the dark. He was followed by Oswald, who went for the lightswitch first, and one Jim Gordon.

  


Jim stayed just outside the door and nodded. “Well...there you are, safe and sound back home.”

  


Oswald shrugged off his coat and looked back at the officer. “Ah yes, thank you  _ so _ much for the escort tonight. I don’t know how Martin and I would’ve managed.”

  


“You were lucky I spotted the two of you. Halloween’s a dangerous night to be wandering around.”

  


Oswald scoffed. “Please, we both know Halloween is one of the safest times of the year in this city. For some reason all the freaks decide to take the night off.”

  


“Speaking of…” Jim pursed his lips, “my shift actually ended a bit ago so...I also have the night off, or what’s left of it.”

  


“Hm, I wonder what you expect  _ me _ to do with this information. Ask you to stay for a drink or something?” Oswald smirked.

  


“Well you certainly  **could** . If you wanted.”

  


With an eye roll, Oswald gestured for Jim to come in. The kitchen was already occupied by the time they walked in. Martin was sitting at the counter, having emptied his bucket to sort through all his candy. He barely looked up when the adults walked in. Oswald glanced at the boy as he went to search the cabinets.

  


Jim walked to the counter and watched Martin divide the candy like a Las Vegas card dealer. “Wow, you’re taking this pretty seriously.”

  


Martin stopped and looked up at Jim with the most deadpan expression. He stared long enough to make the adult uncomfortable before resuming his activity. Jim cleared his throat while thinking of a new topic.

  


“So...you had fun trick-or-treating?”

  


Martin threw up his hands as Jim had just interrupted his counting again. The kid shook his head and folded his hands on the counter. He looked Jim in the eye and then nodded sharply a few times. He put on a smile that asked, ‘Satisfied?’, and went back to his candy.

  


Oswald strolled over with two glasses and a bottle of cognac. “Now Martin...you’re going to need to learn how to count  _ and _ communicate. Don’t stop what you’re doing to nod at some lowlife, do both, because one day that won’t be candy you’re counting, but cold hard cash.”

  


Jim glanced at the gangster. “ _ That _ was the lesson from this?”

  


“Was there a different lesson?”

  


“Probably one that didn’t involve referring to me as a ‘lowlife’.”

  


“Oh James, I didn’t mean  _ you _ . I meant...other lowlifes.” Oswald winked.

  


Any other retort was cut short by Martin clapping his hands. All the candy was successfully sorted into piles. He licked his lips and waggled his fingers over his treats. Right before he dug in, Oswald tapped a nail on the counter.

  


“Ah, ah, ah...you are  **not** going to eat all of this tonight.”

  


Martin’s jaw fell and he quickly reached for his notepad. “ _ Won’t ruin dinner. Already ate. _ ”

  


“Yes, that’s what I said before we left. However, you’re still liable to get a stomach ache. Therefore, you may have two pieces between now and when you go to bed.”

  


Next came a picture of a bed with an ‘X’ through it.

  


“Young man, bedtime is non-negotiable. You don’t want to end up like Jim, do you? He’s gone days without sleep before and it is  **not** pretty.”

  


Jim shot Oswald a look. “Really?”

  


“Am I wrong?”

  


Jim shook his head, but then addressed Martin. “He does have a point. As much as anyone would love staying up all night and eating candy, everyone needs sleep. Even…” he took a moment to look over Martin’s mismatched costume, “pirate...robot...werewolves? The point is, you should listen to us on this.”

  


Oswald nodded. “That’s right, and you’ve already gotten it pushed back to eleven.”

  


Jim glanced at Oswald again. “Eleven? Isn’t that a little late for his age?”

  


“Lighten up James, it’s a weekend.” Oswald then whispered. “Besides, he’s almost always asleep before then.” He turned back to Martin. “So, have I made myself clear?”

  


After a minor staredown, Martin sighed dramatically and nodded his head. He picked up a Reese’s and a Twix, and then scooped the rest back into the bucket. He slid off his stool to give Oswald a quick hug, Jim a polite wave, and then he dashed out of the kitchen.

  


Oswald waited until they heard footsteps on the stairs and then he handed the alcohol to Jim. “Here, you take that and I’ll take this.”

  


He snagged the pumpkin bucket off the counter and started walking into the nearby sitting room. Jim followed him with a disapproving look.

  


“Really?”

  


“What?” Oswald sat down on the couch. “You’ll allow me to murder Theo Galavan, but stealing Halloween candy is where you draw the line?”

  


Jim opened his mouth to say something more, but then he closed it and flopped down on the cushions. Oswald took the bottle from him and started to pour.

  


“But don’t worry about Martin, I’ll replace everything two-fold. I bought a big bag of candy last week.” He handed a glass to Jim. “I just didn’t feel like retrieving it.”

  


“Oh? That’s your justification? You didn’t  _ feel _ like getting-”

  


“James...it’s in the chandelier.”

  


“ _ What _ ?”

  


“That loveable monster has been searching this house high to low. He’s found it every single day so far...and now it’s in the chandelier.” Oswald raised his glass to both point and to take a drink.

  


Jim took a sip of his own. “Okay...I’ll-I’ll give you a pass on that.”

  


“So...which piece do you want?” Oswald stuck a hand in the bucket. “I think I’ll start with a Snickers.”

  


“Hey, you might be comfortable stealing candy, but I’m- Is that a Mr. Goodbar?”

  


Oswald smirked and held it up. “Why yes it is. But the real question is whether or not it’s enough of a temptation for you.”

  


Jim hesitated, but then straightened up. “It’s not.”

  


“No?” Oswald slowly started peeling off the wrapper.

  


“Nope.” To distract himself, he started refilling their glasses.

  


Oswald shook the chocolate close to Jim’s face. “Are you sure?”

  


The smell was hard to resist. “Without a doubt.”

  


“Hm...then you won’t mind if  _ I _ eat it?”

  


“Go ahead.”

  


Oswald leaned back against the couch and smiled. He licked his lips and started bringing the confection closer and closer, never breaking eye contact. Jim scoffed.

  


“Is candy  _ all _ you’re trying to tempt me with?”

  


“What- _ ever _ do you mean?” Oswald ran his tongue along the edge of the chocolate bar.

  


A feeling was pooling in Jim’s stomach, but it wasn’t hunger. He grabbed Oswald’s wrist and slowly pulled it away as he leaned in for a series of languid, gentle kisses. When they broke apart, they looked into each other’s eyes, smiling. Then Jim swiped the candy out of Oswald’s hand.

  


“On second thought, I  **will** be taking this.”

  


Oswald faked an offended scoff. “Unbelievable. What happened to those morals of yours?”

  


“What can I say?” Jim took a bite. “You’re a terrible influence.”

  


“I prefer the term  _ persuasive _ .”

  


Oswald fished another piece of chocolate out of the bucket. They went back and forth eating candy, drinking, and talking about everything and nothing. There was a large argument over whether or not candy corn was good, but remembering Martin was supposedly sleeping upstairs...they agreed to disagree.

  


“So,” Jim paused to catch an M&M in his mouth, “let me get this straight...you think...you could beat Freddy Krueger?”

  


Oswald lined up his shot before tossing another candy at Jim. “Absolutely. One quick shot and he’d never bother me again.”

  


“But...but it’s a dream! You can’t...the whole point is that he’s intangible!”

  


“I’d bring a gun into my dream. Then,  _ chk chk pew _ .”

  


“You can’t just shoot him. You’re in an inescapable dream.”

  


“Look James,” Oswald paused to take a drink, “I’ve survived Strange’s machine and Scarecrow’s fear toxin, I think I can handle a man in my dreams.”

  


“Fair enough.” Jim had to concede. “Just so long as he’s not the man  **of** your dreams.”

  


Oswald rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, that title has already been claimed.”

  


Jim slid closer and put an arm around Oswald. “Oh, has it?”

  


Looking at Jim’s arm and then into his eyes, Oswald blushed slightly. However, he maintained his cheeky attitude. “But he’s not who you’d expect.”

  


“Really?”

  


“Mhm, you’d expect he’d be someone who’s on the same page as me, but him...sometimes we’re not even on the same  _ side _ .”

  


Jim rubbed Oswald’s arm. “Must be difficult.”

  


“It is, but…” Oswald leaned into him, “then he’ll do something stupid that makes me forgive him...or something sweet like offering to take me and my apprentice trick-or-treating.”

  


They smiled at each other, cuddling for a moment. Then Jim laughed a little. “Wait...wait did you refer to Martin as your  _ apprentice _ ?”

  


Oswald shrugged. “What else am I supposed to call him?”

  


“I thought he was your-” He stopped when he saw Oswald look away. “Sorry.”

  


“Oh it’s alright. You know, I was...I’ve actually been thinking about…”

  


The sentence trailed off, but Jim could tell what he meant. “Well...I think it could be a good thing.”

  


Oswald raised a skeptic eyebrow. “Really?”

  


“Of course! Martin seems as attached to you as you are to him, and the orphanage wouldn’t let him stay here almost every weekend if they didn’t think you were fit.”

  


“They probably only do it because I’m threatening.”

  


“I thought you preferred  _ persuasive _ .” Jim nudged him. “Trust me, I think you’d be a great father to Martin. You certainly have the passion for it if you’re willing to threaten an orphanage.”

  


Oswald snorted. “You have a point.”

  


“And you’re already making great memories with him.” Jim reached into the bucket to offer Oswald some chocolate. “Although, I don’t know how great it’ll be when he realizes you ate half of his candy”

  


“Excuse me? You’ve eaten just as much as me!”

  


He laughed as he pulled off the wrapper. Then he put one end of the bar between his teeth and turned to Jim. Taking a hint, Jim chuckled and leaned in to bite the other half. It was the sweetest kiss he ever had, and after chewing and swallowing, it was followed by many more.

  


Their kisses started small and gentle, but became longer and more heated. Oswald put a hand on Jim’s cheek, tilting his face to deepen their embrace. Jim slid an arm around Oswald’s waist, almost pulling him into the detective’s lap. They both laughed at Oswald’s resulting squawk of surprise, but it by no means ruined the mood.

  


Jim poked his tongue at Oswald’s lips and was allowed to explore the rest of his mouth. If there was any chocolate or candy stuck, Jim cleaned it out. Oswald moaned and tangled his hands in that short blonde hair.

  


After several sweet seconds, there was a dragging sound that made them stop. Oswald pulled away and turned around. The candy bucket was now on the opposite end of the coffee table with a hook around the handle. The hook was connected to a pole, and following the pole they saw it led to Martin’s hands, as he was crouched by the side of the sofa.

  


There was an awkward moment where they stared at each other, and then Oswald pointed at the child.

  


“You mister, are supposed to be in bed.”

  


Martin lowered the pole and signed something. Oswald glanced at the incriminating wrappers. “Well...it was Jim’s idea, he wanted a Mr. Goodbar!”

  


Jim shot Oswald a look, but he didn’t get a response, he just got a glare from Martin. The kid signed something else so Oswald spoke up again.

  


“I know, I know...but I’ll tell you what. When you wake up tomorrow this bucket will be  _ full _ , I promise. You just have to go to sleep first.”

  


Martin gave Jim one last glare, but then he stood up and sighed. He shuffled towards the door and looked back at Oswald, pleadingly.

  


“Bed. Now.”

  


Pouting, Martin continued his shuffle. The two adults heard the footsteps fade away, and then Oswald buried his face in Jim’s shoulder.

  


“Ugh, I’m so embarrassed.”

  


“ _ You’re  _ embarrassed?” Jim pushed Oswald up. “ _ I’m _ the one you threw under the bus.”

  


“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth...because then he’d be able to hold it over my head and it’s already hard saying ‘no’ to him.”

  


Jim shook his head, but smiled. “I just hope you learned your lesson about stealing Halloween candy.”

  


“Mhm,” Oswald gave him a peck, “be more careful.”

  


“N-No that’s-” He was silenced with another kiss.

  


“And don’t get distracted by gorgeous men.”

  


Jim opened his mouth and then closed it with a huff. Oswald snickered. “Can’t argue with that, can you?”

  


Then Oswald got off the couch. “Thank you though, for guiding us and the company.”

  


“It was my pleasure.” Jim stood up too and looked at the door. “Well...guess I should head out.”

  


“You’re leaving?”

  


“Y-Yes? Isn’t...isn’t this you kicking me out?”

  


“Far from!” Oswald stepped closer to put his arms around Jim. “Why, I was  _ going _ to ask if you wanted to stay the night. It’s a full moon tonight, who knows what kind of monsters are out there.”

  


“Mm…” Jim leaned in to steal a kiss, “that’s true. It’d be better if we stuck together, safety in numbers.”

  


“Mhm, mhm. In fact, it’d be safest if we stayed as close to each other as possible. I think my bed would be the perfect place.”

  


“I think so too.”

  


They shared a few long kisses. When they broke away, Oswald tapped Jim’s chest. “But first, I need to make sure Martin’s in  **his** bed. I felt bad enough that he peeped us on the couch, he doesn’t need to sneak around and see  _ anything _ else.”

  


“As long as you don’t plan on taking the candy with us, I think we’ll be fine.”

  


“That shouldn’t be a problem.” Oswald nipped at Jim’s bottom lip. “You’re the only treat I need.”

  


“How do you know you’re getting a treat and not a trick?”

  


Oswald leaned in to whisper in Jim’s ear. “If you’re the one giving it out, I’ll take either.”

  


He flicked his tongue over the shell, which made Jim shiver, and then Oswald started walking away. He winked from the doorways and beckoned to Jim.

  


“Come along James, I’m missing my police escort.”

  


Jim licked his lips and strolled to Oswald’s side. They shared one more kiss before heading upstairs.


End file.
